Turning 30 – By: Shelly

Shelly3In just 4 short weeks I will be turning 30 years old. It’s crazy how the time really does fly by. When I was a child I couldn’t wait to be an adult for numerous of reasons. I’d have to say though for me the best ages were 18-23. During that time I felt as though those ages were a transitional age from still being a “child” to an adult. It’s like the best of both worlds! I didn’t take those years for granted either.

I think when most people turn 30, they have an expectation of where they should be in there lives, when really there isn’t a manually to tell anyone where they should be. I think we all have an expectation. For example, I think I should already have my Bachelors degree. However, I wasn’t really ready for college at the age of 18, and I didn’t know what I wanted to do. So I wont have a degree until probably 32-33. It is the way it is though. At least I am pursuing an education, rather than in my opinion settle.

Second thing is having children. If a person is married, people start asking: “When are you going to have kids?” Thankfully, I haven’t been asked too much, but it is annoying (not so much the first time, just when people repeat the question). When people ask me this it causes me to pause and quickly reflect on my life, and then I feel like I might be getting judged because “I’m not where I should be”. People know I’m working on getting my education and currently where I live (in an apartment) it is not an appropriate time for my husband, and I too have a child. When I tell this to a person that asks me, I feel a little irritated. I really shouldn’t have to explain myself. I think I take the question to personal, because I look at my life situation. Not that it is bad or anything but not where we want to be personally. My husband, and I know that having another human being is an extremely huge responsibility that we do not take lightly. It is so important to us that we have established a solid foundation, so we can more than adequately support our future child/children. It’s ok too have to children at an age that a person is comfortable with. Until we do have kids, I’m going to enjoy the time I do have with my husband.

As someone who is studying sociology and looks at society as a whole, I feel as though we as people are ALWAYS comparing our lives with others (or in a general way). Part of the reason why we have some expectation of where one should be at a certain age. It doesn’t matter how old that person is, how much money they have, what they do for work, whether one is married or not, kids or no kids. We do it. Maybe not everyone does, but it wouldn’t surprise me if most did. Some may not even realize it. As a society we should be solely focusing on ourselves and where we need to be individually, not comparing and saying “I need to be married like this person is, or having children at this age because this person is.”

It would be sweet if I had a home, degree, kids (maybe), etc. However, the important thing I have to keep in mind is that I have goals, and those goals will have an end result. Generally speaking I think if a person is trying to better him or herself in any aspect of one’s life then that is what truly matters. I have to remind myself this at times. I’m a determined woman; eventually things will come my way. So as 30 years of my life approaches I’m going to try to embrace it. After all, I am very lucky that I have a wonderful; husband, family, friends, co-workers, and that I just have amazing people in my life.

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